5:55am and I felt a total listlessness in approaching the day. What the fuck was there to even begin to say? I’d hoped it would turn out okay, in some very sad way. I should probably run away and change my name. Move to Texas and buy my first gun. Speak out for all of the tortured onesq ¢{{<~ I’d filled my dreams of. At least they were thought of, but it was never quite enough. I had to do something with this great understanding of love. Maybe in letting go of troubled acts we never truly thought twice of.

It seemed apparent by 6:02 as the sun rose up that you were ready to give up. I didn’t know what to say. I was worried you didn’t really learn anything from me. Maybe the dope was so good you forgot everything? I tried to hold you this morning and you repeated “negative” in the forefront of my brain, further burrying thoughts that sting and sedate. My nerves were shocked as I felt less of your love. “Why did you just give up?” I must be too late, too sad or separate from you. I had all the right words and yet they were too mixed up to use, so I found myself yelling back at you to simply love me, too. I guess this is another way we will say goodbye; if I could ever get rid of you.

See you later.


3 thoughts on “Negative. 

  1. Jesus is the answer. You need to repent of ur sins and “surrender” ur life to him there is a curse of sin at work in ur life and the only way to reverse the curse is by accepting Christs sacrifice that he did for you on the cross GBU. I would also find a good Christian church so u can grow in Christ. GOD LOVES YOU VERRY DEEPLY AUTUMN just come to him as you are and he will give u beauty for ashes! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s