Anyway, pt. I

Its becoming apparent that I’m still madly in love and not surprisingly, you’re over it. So theyve asked me to write a poem about it, and i had nothing to ask of them, as usual, aside from leave me alone or, let me be. Release me of the burdens for which your words have so desperately haunted me. What is the point in destroying any relatable purity? I’m crushed by the deception you have used tiresomely against me. It was all so selfish and cheap– the total lack of honesty between you and me. And in your making, as you’ve so thoughtfully declared, I am just a fucking freak. Still so useless to you as my thoughts are further sown in misery, monotony in a malicious intent to deform a pure and thoughtful form you had once so selflessly adored. I’m finally entirely let down and still my mind remains quite free. And yet you insist it is still chained to my past in a lack of presence, and you. I’m left now, infinitely saddened by the words and acts my soulmate chooses to use. As my soul wonders anxious and alone, forgotten and fully used.  Refused of the love Id always dreamed of living in every part of you. Why can’t I be happy too? And where, if not with you, do I fit? I just want to be yours and you dont seem to get the hint. As happiness divides, a depth of hopelessness and happiness living in between your little white lies. I love you endlessly but I cant make up my mind as it urges me to choose between loving you perfectly and ending the abuse. Can we find another way? Or am I less than the letdown proceeding another non-existent conversation with you. Always running from the truth and leaving me behind, what is the love you have for me when you forget me so eagerly, every time? But I love you anyway, even when you think Im lying.

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One thought on “Anyway, pt. I

  1. Is she your soul mate now? Seems you’ve had a few. Also, what happened to you?? You use to be so full of light. You could have done something with that but you choose to “give massages” and do drugs.

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