It isn’t about me, I’m aware of this that the energy has been heavily focused on me where I don’t want it to be. But I don’t know where everyone else truly is, mistrusting and unable to ask? I ask and the answers all seem false.
Where you are, your mission, what you are doing here and why? — Lies
Why if we are all meant to be one, all connected in this way am I being the focus here when I only want the truth? I don’t know how to speak because the reality I’m immersed in is an incredulous load of lies, deceit, mistrust… Where am I expected to begin if I can’t even receive honest answers from those I trusted the most?
I don’t know anymore where to turn, I’ve turned inward causing everyone to turn on me. I can see how it’s appeared selfish, my lack of action to be a part of what I knew my mission to be, with all of you, helping you, selflessly but I can’t even begin to fathom it all because I have been blinded by my failure. I don’t see what you see. I saw it then, I see now how it’s changed me and altered my reality and regressed me into someone I hardly recognize. I know I need nothing, that there are many others I could help with what I know and have been discouraged by the misunderstanding. I never used to allow into my life or care much of what others saw or thought and when that was a considerable reality my life and my spirit were so much stronger, brighter and more capable of healing.
Do they hear what I hear, does everyone? Yes, I do believe this.
They have told me that they don’t but it may only be their own awareness, lack of connection, or a part of me has believed it may only be a test, in which my peers are urging me to fail. It’s caused a rage inside of me I have trouble controlling.
The energy should be changed and channeled to Love, a greater power toward healing, death of self and habitual failure, focused solely on what can be done to improve the state of all of us as one. I see and interpret it differently, perhaps have been too eager for an entirely new start that I have been holding myself back from. And I’ve been misunderstood, allowing others to lead me into their own world when mine was always meant to be my own, which has always encouraged my growth and the healing of all of us, why have I been choosing fear? I know that everyone hears that this is opposite of the paradigm I would choose and want to be a part of. If this is a test, as I’m sure it is, and I’m hopeful in keeping my promises to those I’ve ceased communication with– I would have done it differently.
I don’t understand why I would hear all of this if it’s something others around me are continuously telling me they don’t hear– I don’t believe this is true. The visions I’ve had and experience leading me up to this all tell me otherwise. I honestly feel confused as to why you would tell me this, knowing and believing another.
“Why did you stop believing?”
Keep your promises, be very aware and agile in your moves, your thoughts, your energy can be felt and your words must be consciously recreated. “I can’t believe she thinks that way”, I’ve never thought of this world or the realms I’ve reached or understood or passed through in my spirits death, rebirth, regeneration and renewal in any way that I have ever seen or heard of another mind understanding. I can see clearly that my lack of action and speaking for myself, standing up for myself while all this has continued to destroy me has given others the entirely wrong idea of who I am and why I have been sent here. Partially why I’ve chosen anger and to nearly give up entirely on what would have moved me, moved worlds, even. I have answers that would better everyone, change everything and still I feel I have no outlet, no one close enough to listen even if you are all still here. It isn’t the same, when I look back at how it felt before, how closely connected I once was and how my heart being left in so many places with so many people I don’t feel have given me the chance to help them in the ways that I promised, mostly due to not seeing them under the microscope in which they have been viewing me. Why is it this way? How is this helpful to any of us? I know it’s not about me. When I ask I’m not given the answers as for all of you and I wish that weren’t so. That isn’t the way family should be connected or the reality I would hope for us to share. Although I do see a new age dawning for which we are all as we are intended to be, an existence breathing in pure harmony, something much more simple and not so half hearted in sympathy. There our fate is to be sealed internally and more less overseen by love, unconditional, in our state of interstellar peace.